Fundraising America
by Let Go of My Faygo
Summary: When the US Capital overhears America's boss yelling about the debt America owes the world, he puts it onto himself and the other states to come up with ways to help pay for it, without pissing off the civilians. CRACK. No actual pairings. Rated for slight language and dumb humor from our lovely states :D
1. We Need A Plan

**Hello my fellow readers :D I really don't know where this idea came from... But please enjoy :D**

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"America, we own trillions of dollars to China alone! We are WAY behind on debt!" a loud, deep voice boomed from the inside.

"I know! It totally sucks," said the younger sounding voice, one that sounded much more teen-like.

"If we don't start paying back soon, we are going to get into trouble."

"Like another war? Because that would totally suck too."

"Well... I don't know about a war..."

Another argument was undergoing.

_Again, about the debt? _A young man thought in his head, his ear pressed against the door. His brows furrowed, his hand wiping away the single bronze curl in front of his face. His bright eyes looked worried, his teeth chewing his bottom lip in worry. He let out a sigh.

_Gosh, it is such a problem, _he thought to himself, _and I know I told America not to depend on China so much. How are we ever going to pay back such a debt?_

"Washington D.C.?" A soft voice said from behind. Washington D.C., our little eavesdropper right here, bolted upright, turning around quickly. Behind him was one of many the assistance's that worked in the White House.

"Oh, Jane," He said, easing a bit, "What are you doing here?"

"I was just on my way to lunch when I noticed you eavesdropping," she said, tucking a piece of red hair behind her ear. Washington D.C. cleared his throat, laughing a bit nervously.

"I-I have no idea what you are talking about. I don't eavesdrop," he said, pulling on his jacket a little bit. Jane raised a brow.

"Okay. Whatever you say," she said. Washington D.C. growled in his frustration.

"I just don't know what to do!" He complained out of no where, "I mean, what kind of capital am I? I am in charge of the government and it's spending! ... Well, actually Mr. America himself has a lot to do with the spending too, which would explain why so many things we have, have China's name on them... But still, we are so behind in debt, yet we still continue to spend! How are we supposed to pay back our growing debt, while also spending some more of our tax money to have our nation grow?"

"Listen, I'm sorry about you're situation, but I am only a secretary-"

"I know! I should get the other states together, and see what they have to say!" He patted Jane on the back, "Thank's for your help. I will give the boss a good word about you, I promise." And with that, the fretting capital sped away. The secretary sighed.

"... He won't say anything, I just know it."

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"Guys? Guys, can you PLEASE settle down?" Washington D.C. called out, looking around at the other 50 people in the room. The chatter went on for another full ten minutes before starting to cease a bit.

"Alright, what the heck do you want?" asked a burly cowboy, tipping back his hat with his thumb. His brown eyes already looked bored, his feet kicked up and resting on the table. Washington D.C. tried not to say anything- Texas never really did have much manners.

"Yeah, you wouldn't tell us anything when you called this sudden meeting," said a pretty blonde sitting a few chairs away from the Capital. Washington D.C. cleared his throat.

"Listen, we all know that we are way behind on debt-"

"Which is you're fault," Texas said. Washington D.C. ignored him.

"America's boss is really unhappy about it, and the debt is only getting worse," he said. Someone raised his hand.

"Yes Illinois?" He said.

"What the heck do you want us to do about it?" He said, "Because the citizens will NOT be happy if we try and raise taxes again." Washington D.C. cleared his throat, tugging on the collar of his suit a bit nervously.

"W-well that's why we are here," he looked around,"So... who has 1.6 trillion dollars?" The states gave him disapproving looks.

"Is that all we owe?" the state of California asked. Washington D.C. nodded.

"Yes... to China. I'm not sure about everyone else."

"Wait, so we owe all that to China alone?" the state New Mexico said, "Dammit, I told you all we depend to much on the Chinese!"

"No you didn't," Illinois chimed in again. New Mexico looked at him with lidded eyes.

"... Where was your pen made?" he asked. Illinois looked at it.

"'Made in China'," he read, "... Oh..."

"See?" New Mexico said. Texas nodded.

"Yeah. I bet everything in here is made in China," he muttered.

"Guy's, look, I know it's an issue, but instead of discussing where everything comes from, we need to-" Washington D.C. could never get his ideas out, because then everyone started to speak.

"Actually, my pen says 'Made in Japan',"

"Mine says it's from Vietnam."

"I have a pen from Mexico."

"I have one from Canada... Where the heck is Canada?"

_It was obvious that though America did say he was very independent, he and his states rely way too much on the goods and services other countries provide for him. American's have things made from various locations, mostly from the Asian countries. It is said that it's to improve the economy in some way, but depending on others to create pens seems to be kinda lazy. To most people anyway._

"GUYS. SERIOUSLY," Washington D.C. shouted, "This is not the place for this conversation! We need to come up with the money, or our country will be in serious trouble!" The states stared at one another, looking for someone who had an answer to the situation. Washington D.C. buried his head in his hands. This wasn't working at all.

"Oh! I have an idea!" spoke up someone. Washington D.C.'s head shot up.

"What Kentucky?" He asked. I mean, it was obviously gonna be stupid, coming from hill billy Kentucky, but at this point he had no other choice then to listen.

"Well, I will hold another Derby, and if we can get a bunch o' people there from all over and charge a whole lot, we can raise enough to maybe pay at least a fraction of the debt," he said. There was a loud groan.

"Kentucky, only you and you're other hillbilly friends want to sit there and watch a bunch of dumb horses run in circles. Besides, raising prices won't get you anywhere," New Jersey shouted. Kentucky glared at him.

"Okay then, smartass, what to you wanna do?" he asked. New Jersey smirked, leaning back in his seat a bit.

"I just say that we film a bunch of drunken idiots who argue a lot and sell it to T.V. for a whole lot of money," "

"... That's a stupid idea," New Hampshire said next to him, not bothering to keep quiet. New Jersey scowled.

"What, you have a better idea?" the state asked. New Hempshire was quiet, then slowly sunk in his seat.

"Thought so," New Jersey said, crossing his arms as he held his nose up in the air. Washington D.C. nodded, looking around. It was obvious not everyone was going to go with Kentucky's Derby idea, and a lot of the states had skeptical looks about New Jersey's idea. He could even hear some states whispering to one another about ideas that they have of their own.

Then... the Capital got an idea.

"Well, since you all have ideas of you're own, why don't we all just do what we can to raise money?" He suggested. Texas looked over at him.

"... What?"

"Like, we all come up with activities and other ways to make money, and then we come back in a couple of months and see what we have come up with," he explained. The other states looked at each other.

"It... might be fun," Hawaii said a bit awkwardly, twirling her sandy blonde hair in her fingers.

"I doubt it will work thought," Tennessee muttered. Georgia, the woman sitting next to him, glared at the State.

"Must you always be so negative?" she asked. Tennessee shrugged, looking at his pen.

"... My pen is from France."

"Dude, we are WAY past that conversation," some state muttered in the corner.

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**Okay, now for an explanation...**

**So, as you can see, this first chapter is pretty boring. I tried to add some humor, but it didn't really work. Anyway, so this is just a little drabble series that isn't meant to be taken seriously, because it's mostly for laughs. **

**Each state now is going to have a chance to show everyone what they are good at, and if they can really make some money to help, not fully, pay off the debt. Some may be smart ideas... some may be completely stupid.**

**Like the countries, i will be using the state stereotypes as well. Each chapter will range from thousands of words, to maybe less then 100, depending on what it is. Anyway, stay tuned for the next chapter, because Alabama will be the first to be given the chance to show what he can to :D**


	2. Alabama's Plan

**Wow... I'm surprised I got reviews already... I'm not used to that ;) Thank you!**

**Please Enjoy~**

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A handsome brunette was strolling through the fields, holding a heavy basket. He was breathing heavily, setting down the basket. He bent over to the small plants below, his fingers gently plucking away the small pods on the ends. He began to whistle a peaceful little tune, humming every now and then. He hadn't noticed the state standing behind him.

"Hey Alabama! What are you doing?" The boisterous voice of Mississippi sounded. Alabama jumped up, turning around to glare at the blonde.

"Mississippi? What are you doing here?" he asked, heaving as he picked up the basket again. Mississippi shrugged, watching as he dropped a bunch of shell-like pods into it.

"I got bored, so I decided to come visit and see what you were doing," she answered. Alabama looked up at her.

"Just harvesting peanuts. Shouldn't you be thinking of an idea to help raise money?" he asked. Mississippi frowned.

"Well yeah... but you should too, and not be harvesting peanuts," she retorted. Alabama set the basket down, turning back to her with one hand on his hip, the other hand wagging his index finger.

"Actually, I already have. These peanuts are gonna help me raise some money to help out with our cause," he argued. The female state rolled her eyes.

"How is a bunch of peanuts gonna help pay off debt?"

"Peanuts have a whole bunch of uses," Alabama picked up a nut, "I mean, they can be made into peanut butter, peanut oil, and you can just eat them too..."

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_The state of Alabama is known for it's agricultural background, which includes growing many different kinds crops, especially peanuts. Peanuts were used to make different kinds of peanut products, including peanut butter. It was a man named George Washington Carver who researched the peanut at some collage somewhere. Now there's a man who loved his nuts. _

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"Peanuts! Get your peanuts here!" Alabama called out over the cheering crowd. Mississippi was among the crowd, and she was staring at the farmer in disbelief.

"This is it? THIS is your plan?" She asked, pointing to the box he was holding. The box was full of packaged peanuts he had grown and harvested from his farm.

"Yeah. Everyone loves peanuts, especially at a baseball game," he said, "PEANUTS! Get your peanuts here!"

"I'll have a bag!" Some random person called. Alabama smiled, fixing the paper hat on his head before he reached in and pulled out a bag. He handed it to the man, who gave him eight dollars in return. Mississippi shook her head, crossing her arms.

"Eight dollars for peanuts?" she said. Alabama snickered.

"Yeah. It's a bit pricey, but it makes plenty of money," he said, stuffing the money into his pocket.

"But you can buy peanuts in a bag like that for two dollars at a local store," Mississippi pointed out. Alabama shushed her.

"Well don't tell them that!" he hissed. Mississippi rolled her eyes.

"This is worse then your inbreeding idea..." she muttered, getting up to leave the stadium.

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**And that was Alabama's horrible idea. But hey, you gotta do what you gotta do, am I right? **

**Anyway, I hope that this was funny enough (even if it was a little short, but I warned you about that) and I hope you stay tuned for the next chapter, featuring Alaska and her idea :D**

**Please review~**


	3. Alaska's Plan

**Yay! I's so glad you people are liking this so far :D I seriously didn't think many people were going to like it. **

**Anyway, on with Alaska :D Who is actually, one of my real OC's :3**

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Alaska paced around the room, her dark brown curls bouncing around her as she moved. She was gingerly chewing on her thumbnail, her blue eyes glancing out the window every now and then.

"Gosh, I don't know vhat to do," she complained out loud, "The other states already have such vonderful ideas by now I bet. Then again, they were always part of this country..."

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_A couple of years ago, Alaska was part of Russia, who was the Soviet Union at the time. Because communist and socialist ideas are completely stupid and always fail, Russia couldn't afford to keep defending poor Alaska and promptly sold her to America to become one of his many states. If you ask me, it doesn't sound like a smart idea. I mean, why would Russia sell a piece of territory to the United States if he hated us at the time?_

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Alaska continued to fret, before she sighed.

"Gosh, I really don't know. I don't know how to raise money all that vell- I don't even have high taxes," she said. She tapped a finger to her chin. She looked outside once again, gazing at the snow on the ground. A little girl was walking by through her yard, holding a snow cone in her clothed little fingers. Alaska raised a brow.

_Why would a child be eating a snow cone in such frozen weather? _she asked herself. Then, as if out of no where, the idea finally came to her. Alaska threw her over coat on, racing outside into the snow, and began to collect as much of it as she could.

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Hawaii smiled brightly as she strolled down the street, her sarong flowing behind her gently. She tilted her head side to side, gently humming a song, when something caught her eye.

She saw her older sister Alaska standing behind a cart, holding up a paper cone. It was full of shaved ice, and she was dying it red before she handed it to a child. She raised her brow in curiosity and walked over.

"Alaska?" she said. Alaska turned to her, smiling brightly.

"Hello Hawaii- or as you say here, Aloha," she said sweetly, holding up another ice-filled cone. "Would you like a snow cone?" Hawaii looked at her, a bit baffled.

"Why are you selling snow cones on my island?" she questioned. Alaska shrugged.

"vell, my state is a little too cold to sell any, so I decided to bring it down here vhere it was varmer," Alaska said, looking through the flavors she had. Hawaii stared at her a few more minutes, before she finally sighed.

"Please tell me this isn't your idea to fund-raise," Hawaii said. Alaska nodded.

"It is! It's a lot of fun, and your people seem to like it," she remarked. Hawaii frowned.

"Alaska, I'm supposed to use my own people to help raise money, not to help you. I know it's cold in your land, but can't you go somewhere else?" Hawaii asked. Alaska's face showed a bit of sadness in it.

"Vell, sure," she said, looking down a bit. Hawaii thought for a moment.

"You can try going to Japan's place. Japanese people will by anything that's foreign to them," she said thoughtfully. Alaska's face brightened, and she held up a finger.

"Yeah, they do don't they?" She said. She walked over to the side of her snow cone cart, gripping the handles. She tilted it upward a bit, and started to drag it away.

"Thank you Hawaii!" Alaska called out, waving with one hand as she used to other one to drag her cart. Hawaii waved back, smiling a bit.

"Wait... if she's just dragging that cart around... how did she get it across the ocean to here?" Hawaii suddenly asked out loud, and then started to fallow to see how Alaska was going to get that heavy cart to Japan.

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**Sorry it's been a while since I have updated this. I was having trouble thinking of ideas for Alaska, until my brother started talking about snow cones. Since, stereo-typically (because Alaska is actually not completely covered with snow), this was my idea. It kinda sucks I know. Not all of them are going to be super funny. At least I updated, right?**

**Anyway... please review :3**


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